


Merely This and Nothing More

by OccasionalAvenger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 02:33:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9102619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccasionalAvenger/pseuds/OccasionalAvenger
Summary: In which Leia can't be anything for anyone and Han doesn't need anything from anyone.





	

Luke was definitely the kind of dope who believed in love at first sight, but when it came to Luke, well, Han knew that really wasn’t the worst of the stuff floating around his brain. Sometimes he thought there must still be Tatooine sand in drifts between the kid’s ears. Love didn’t work that way, in Han’s prolific experience with women. It took time, indefinite time for him, anyway. He couldn’t speak for the countless ladies whose patience apparently didn’t stretch that long.

But Leia, all right, Leia was a little different. Han had no idea what she thought about love at first sight (or love in general), but she was real big on the Force so maybe there was a chance of that, the whole spiritual love thing. Not that Han was hoping she had fallen in love with him at first sight. He just wondered if she maybe had the same thought he did when he laid eyes on her, which was: I could probably fall in love with this girl.

Oh, stars, he was cooked.

Whatever happened to the days when Han’s emotional range was limited to whatever the _Falcon_ was feeling at any given moment? Now he was thinking about love at first sight and mooning over some princess who’d be damn right not to give him the time of day.

Han squinted over at Leia, trying not to look like he was feeling feelings of any type. She and Luke were sitting at the _Falcon’s_ shaky table; Leia was playing _dejarik_ with Chewie—and winning, by the look of it. Han hoped he wouldn’t have to scrape bits of her off the floor later if Chewie lost his temper.

Luke kept using the Force to mess with the ends of Leia’s hair; it was making Leia laugh and making Han want to acquaint the kid with his blaster, savior of the galaxy or not.

“Hey, lovebirds,” he said, when Luke scooted a little too far into Leia’s personal space. “Do me a favor and get the hell off my ship, will ya? You too, Chewie. Go on.”

It was hard to say who was more offended, Luke or Chewie, but the Wookie had seen Han in enough of his moods to stomp off the ship with only a little snarling. Luke looked sulky. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” he said, ignoring Han’s show of twirling his blaster around his finger. “Your aura has been awfully agitated lately.”

“Oh, my aura?” Han sneered. “My aura? Boy, aren’t you a certified Jedi now. What’s disturbing my aura, Master Luke? Are Yavin’s moons aligning? A double eclipse on Tatooine?”

“Come on, Han, you know it doesn’t work like that.” Luke crossed his arms, anger lighting in his eyes. It occurred to Han that this pouty kid who had become his best friend could probably turn Han’s brain into a pile of Corellian spice jelly just by thinking about it. Huh.

He cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know how it works and I don’t think I’d like to find out. Now get off my ship.” He turned to Leia, who had been watching the argument with the perfect expression of disdain and amusement. “You too, Princess. Out.” Leia cast a glance at Luke, and they communicated in that uncanny, silent way that they did sometimes. Luke rolled his eyes and stalked away, mumbling something about controlling his feelings. Han had no idea how to read someone’s aura, but he’d wager every credit he’d ever swindled that Luke’s was mighty agitated at the moment.

Leia hadn’t moved. She hesitated for a moment, like she was struggling with something, then came over to the cockpit where Han had been lounging in his seat and sat at the copilot’s controls. Han opened his mouth to say something stupid, but Leia looked at him with a small, weary smile and his brain scrambled.

“Luke’s right, you know. You have been out of sorts lately. He thinks it’s something he did, but I told him not to worry, you’re probably just fussing over some problem with the _Falcon_.” The ship was in as perfect condition as it ever got, but Han didn’t say anything. “Luke really worries about you, you know. He’s always afraid that you’ll leave again.”

Great. They’d been talking behind his back. “Hmpf. Kid just likes to worry if you ask me.” Han looked away and fiddled with the blinking buttons on the pilot’s controls. “What about you, d’you ever worry about me?”

“I don’t allow myself to worry about anybody,” Leia said. “The Rebellion can’t survive if I’m wringing my hands over every foot soldier or general’s well-being. Leadership must be strong, Han, it must.” She cast her gaze out over the busy docks outside the Falcon’s windows and the steamy Yavin 4 jungles beyond. “My father used to tell me not to worry about him when he was off working. He said that one day I would learn that the cause has to be the only thing on your mind when you fight, otherwise everything will crumble. I was young and I took it to heart.”

So much weight on hers and Luke’s shoulders. Han remembered the drunken ranting of an ex-Rebel pilot he’d met during a visit back to Corellia, her seething anger at the Rebellion. _“They steal your life from you,”_ she’d cried in a slurred Coruscanti accent. _“Your future, your dreams. We were all kids, just kids dying for a bunch of old men who long for the Republic.”_ Han had shrugged it off, though he didn’t doubt its truthfulness. The Rebellion didn’t concern him, and neither did the Empire, as long as they didn’t interfere with his smuggling enterprise too much. But now…now Han could see first hand what the Rebellion was doing to Leia.

“Oh, I do worry, Han!” she burst out, startling him. “I worry about every soldier who’s ever held a blaster for the Rebellion; I worry about Luke and his training…he doesn’t know what he’s getting into and I’m afraid it will kill him. I worry about Vader, every night. I’m so selfish, Han, I worry that he'll find me and kill me. Nobody else, just me, and I don’t—”

“Hey,” said Han, a little shocked to see her break like this. He hadn’t thought she could. “Hey, it’s all gonna work out okay. Come here.” He held out his hand and Leia took it, folding herself into his arms. “Now don’t go getting too excited,” he muttered, because all the pain he’d ever encountered could be relieved by a bad joke.

Leia laughed into his chest, but it was half a sob, and her arms were tight around him. “Oh, Han, I do worry about you. More than anyone else. Sometimes I’m petrified because I know I couldn’t take it if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to me,” said Han, bringing a hand up to stroke her hair.

“I wish I could believe that.”

“I mean it. You think Chewie’d ever let someone hurt me?”

Leia looked troubled. “Promise me you’ll start taking all this seriously. This isn’t a game. I know you don’t think anything matters, Han, but this does."

Han put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to face him. “I know it does,” he said, and kissed her.

She was so warm and firm, so _right_ against him, but she was also out of practice and Han wondered how long it had been for her. Then he chided himself for even thinking about that. He deepened the kiss and felt Leia respond, shifting so that she was sitting properly in his lap and bring a hand up to cup his face.

Han had forgotten that anything could feel this good. It seemed like stealing after all these months of war, like at any minute Mon Mothma would walk in with an Imperial stronghold to be targeted and the moment would be over.

But no one came, and eventually Leia was the one to break away. She tore herself from Han’s arms and stumbled out of the cockpit and into the hallway.

“That was a mistake, Han,” she said, hoarse.

He came to stand in the doorway. “Didn’t seem like one.”

“Someone could’ve seen.” Leia spun around wildly and tried to look out the windows over his shoulder. “I need to go, I shouldn’t be seen doing this.”

Han stepped closer and took her hands in his. They were small and trembling. “No one saw,” he murmured. “And if they did, then good, they can spare you writing up an announcement.”

Leia looked up at him. “I can’t. I can’t be anything anyone needs right now.”

“Good. I don’t need anything from anyone.” Han tilted his head to the side, wondering if she could hear his heart going into hyperdrive. “But I sure do _want_ things.”

Leia’s breath hitched. She shook her head slowly, a tiny smile coming to her lips. “I love you.”

_I‘ve always loved you._ “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I am back, finally, and it feels really good to be writing in another fandom after so much Marvel. I will definitely be posting more of this pairing and others (don't worry, I'm not scrapping Marvel altogether). Feel free to send me prompts or pairings that you'd like to see. Thank you so much for reading, and as always, comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
